Updated: Jun 5
When I was about 20 years old I began to realize something. Despite what seemed, and sometimes truly felt, a nearly perfect life on the outside, something was eluding me deep inside, but I really wasn't sure exactly what that was. Like I said, it seemed that my life had most parts in perfect working order, but sometimes I felt an emptiness that I simply never wanted experience and live with. I truly wanted a life that was full of energy and love all of the time, not just some of the time. Maybe my expectations of life and myself were too high, but I was too naive to consider that. Looking back now, I'm extremely glad that I was. I am incredibly grateful to whatever it was that led me to peer open that mysterious and daunting door.
Most of us would call this kind of journey a mid-life crisis or breakdown (or in my case an early-mid life crisis), as I felt like I was starting to scramble to find some very important answers in my life and deep within myself. However, as I feel like this term makes these types of journies sound desperate and unnecessary, I prefer the interpretation I came across in Brene Brown's work (and almost every 'spiritual' conceptualization), an "Awakening." I also do think this is a much more accurate interpretation, given how my awareness and attentiveness throughout and within my life has dramatically improved. Whatever you want to call it, it's a journey I think a lot of people (like myself) find hard to fully invest in and commit to. It's not easy to want to cut the grass when it has grown so long you feel as if you're in way over your head. However, if you do decide to put in the effort to tackle that mangled mess and see how beautiful that lawn can be, I can promise one thing: the grass will be a hell of a lot greener on the other side.
My 'awakening' started with Michael Springer's book, "The Untethered Soul," for no reason other than it sounded interesting when I searched "self-help" books on Amazon. Over the past 7 years or so (I'm 27 as I write this) my journey has slowly evolved into a deep dive into any aspect of human life that I think may help me better understand both myself, the greater community of humans as a species and life as a whole.
To say I've learned a lot would be like saying that a long-lived life is living eternally. I am incredibly grateful and indebted to all the resources that have truly helped cultivate a much greater and deeper understanding of myself, the human race and life on this planet. Obviously, my deepest gratitude belongs to my parents and family, who literally sacrificed so much of their own lives to support my being to an extent that is hard to comprehend. Beyond those direct influences are media outlets like Joe Rogan and Tim Ferriss. Influential health professionals and advocates like Dr. Rhonda Patrick, Peter Attia, David Sinclair and Mark Sisson. Thought-provoking thinkers, researchers, journalists and writers like Michael Pollan, Yuval Noah Harari, Graham Hancock, Dennis Mckenna and Chris Ryan. Human performance (most people would say 'fitness') enthusiasts and athletes like Kobe Bryant, Lionel Sanders, Mat Fraser and Nick Bare. And on and on and on. This list will literally never end as my journey continues to evolve, but that is just to name a few resources to give an idea of the people and information that have all inextricably infuenced me to become the much better person that I strive to be.
I truly feel incredibly inspired, fortunate and grateful to have all of these resources to look up to and learn from in order to make my own life better. That's really why I feel that I need to write in an attempt to pass this gift on to others who may need it. Even if one person makes a positive change because of an idea or resource that I try to shed a light on, this planet is a better place. I will try my best to consider all that I can in this endeavor and to understand that, while this is certainly an important personal outlet for myself, the purpose of my research and writing is much greater than myself. I truly hope that you enjoy anything that I hope to offer, but most importantly, that you find your passion and purpose wherever you look, like I believe I have found mine.